Shia LaBeouf has spent a lot of time thinking recently. In July of 2017, the 31-year-old actor-activist was arrested in Savannah, Georgia, for disorderly conduct, obstruction and drunkenness.
It went down after he tried to bum a cigarette from strangers, one of whom was a cop. He became outraged when they refused and after the officer warned him repeatedly to calm down, he was eventually cuffed and taken in.
- TMZ then published police footage of him bragging about his “millionaire lawyers” and belittling a black officer for being “stuck in a police force that doesn’t give a f--- about you.”
- LaBeouf sat down with Esquire to discuss for their April cover story. "What went on in Georgia was mortifying. White privilege and desperation and disaster...It came from a place of self-centered delusion...It was me trying to absolve myself of guilt for getting arrested."
- In short, LaBeouf admits, "I f--ked up."
- The next day, he attended a party for the cast and crew of The Peanut Butter Falcon and while most people ignored the incident, he says his costar Zachary Gottsagen took him to task, telling him, "You're already famous. This is my chance. And you're ruining it.'"
- "To hear him say that he was disappointed in me probably changed the course of my life. 'Cause I was still fighting. I was still on my 'Look how fast they released the videos! They don't release these!' Just on my defense-mechanism-fear garbage. And you can't do that to him. He keeps it 1,000 with you, and that s--t doesn't even make sense to him," LaBeouf says.
- "Zack can't not shoot straight, and bless him for it, 'cause in that moment, I needed a straight shooter who I couldn't argue with." Their conversation continued on set, LaBeouf adds. "We were getting ready to do a scene and Zack said, 'Do you believe in God?' And I thought, No f--kin' way are you about to explain God to me, Zack...Zack said, 'Even if He's not real, what does it hurt?'"
- It was a life-changing conversation. "I don't believe in God...But did I see God? Did I hear God? Through Zack, yeah. He met me with love, and at the time, love was truth, and he didn't pull punches. And I'm grateful, not even on some cheeseball s--t trying to sell a movie. In real life," LaBeouf says. "That motherf--ker is magical. Zack allowed me to be open to help when it came."
- LaBeouf, who is in treatment for addiction, acknowledges that his behavior made him a liability in Hollywood, but that he still hopes he can redeem himself.
- He can next be seen in Borg vs. McEnroe on April 13th.
You can read the interview here