I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My neighbor walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than a kidney stone?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a kidney stone, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
A kidney stone is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like to have another kidney stone."
I rest my case. Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.